Heartbreaking Bravery
Heartbreaking bravery
Exists
When you were next to the wild animals
I was the baby still on the tit
And now I want your sex
But I am not the fox
With blood stained lips
Standing over the kill
Oh, but, babe,
I’m afraid
You are the kill
Heartbreaking bravery
Exists
When you run with the razor sharp
When you run with the silver quick
When you see names of angels on the back of your eyelids
That look like they were carved in a fit of violence by
Those you call exclusively yours.
And when you call exclusively angels
To your windowsill...
Oh, then, babe,
I’m afraid
You are the kill
I’ve got the blood and the cause to bleed,
Because
I’ve got the blood, but not the bloodlust
You need
oh, oh, oh
Heartbreaking bravery
Exists
When you were next to the wild animals
I was the baby still on the tit
And now I want your sex
But I am not the fox
With blood stained lips
Standing over the kill
Oh, but, babe,
I’m afraid
You are the kill
Heartbreaking bravery
Exists
When you run with the razor sharp
When you run with the silver quick
When you see names of angels on the back of your eyelids
That look like they were carved in a fit of violence by
Those you call exclusively yours.
And when you call exclusively angels
To your windowsill...
Oh, then, babe,
I’m afraid
You are the kill
I’ve got the blood and the cause to bleed,
Because
I’ve got the blood, but not the bloodlust
You need
oh, oh, oh
Yesterday’s Fire
I can see being with you
You’ve got a body I imagine to be like
What I imagine you’ve been told
I can see being with you
Your clothes are great and you wear them loose,
And you know
When to hang on and when to let go
You had a house and you took me there
I had to notice that the walls were bare and white
Like the ashes of yesterday’s fire
The bed looked like a butcher’s block, and
You liked it better when I was on top
And I thought about nothing at all
You seem alright
A little close to the night
But you seem alright
It’s inappropriate
But at least the walls are white
A piece of fool’s gold next to an empty vase;
I’m too old for you anyway.
And I know you’ll disagree
Because you know that you’re pretty when you lie
Before I go
I think I should tell you that
All the stars are dying and
Most of them are already through.
We’re just getting off on yesterday’s fire
From under a rock, I’m on my way to grace.
I have stopped in a thousand houses
On my way
But I never will forget,
Oh no, I never will forget about
The way we played The Fall
And broke your plates against the wall
As the sun rose
Then we fell asleep in the glass,
And then I had to go
Shitty City
We should have gotten smart
We should have gotten good
We should have gotten out
Of this town
While we could
It’s a shitty city now
A shitty city now
Blowing all around
In our house
And our hearts
It’s a house
Of cards
I can see being with you
You’ve got a body I imagine to be like
What I imagine you’ve been told
I can see being with you
Your clothes are great and you wear them loose,
And you know
When to hang on and when to let go
You had a house and you took me there
I had to notice that the walls were bare and white
Like the ashes of yesterday’s fire
The bed looked like a butcher’s block, and
You liked it better when I was on top
And I thought about nothing at all
You seem alright
A little close to the night
But you seem alright
It’s inappropriate
But at least the walls are white
A piece of fool’s gold next to an empty vase;
I’m too old for you anyway.
And I know you’ll disagree
Because you know that you’re pretty when you lie
Before I go
I think I should tell you that
All the stars are dying and
Most of them are already through.
We’re just getting off on yesterday’s fire
From under a rock, I’m on my way to grace.
I have stopped in a thousand houses
On my way
But I never will forget,
Oh no, I never will forget about
The way we played The Fall
And broke your plates against the wall
As the sun rose
Then we fell asleep in the glass,
And then I had to go
Shitty City
We should have gotten smart
We should have gotten good
We should have gotten out
Of this town
While we could
It’s a shitty city now
A shitty city now
Blowing all around
In our house
And our hearts
It’s a house
Of cards
Quickfire, I Tried
“This advance (at first very much against the will of the outdistanced men) will transform
the love experience, which is now filled with error, will change it from the ground up,
and reshape it into a relationship that is meant to be between one human being and
another, no longer one that flows from man to woman. And this more human love (which
will fulfill itself with infinite consideration and gentleness, and kindness and clarity in
binding and releasing) will resemble what we are now preparing painfully and with great
struggle: the love that consists in this: that two solitudes protect and border and greet
each other.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Quickfire, I tried to be your solitude
And to border and protect and to greet you
Quickfire, I tried to be fun
But by the time that I was drunk you were gone
Quickfire, I tried to not be sad
But the fabric wore away upon my knee
Quickfire, I tried to be romantic
But the silver is still waiting on the mantle
Where your mother left it sitting last fall...
La, da-da
Quickfire, I tried to take your gifts
But I cannot change the way I hate most objects
Quickfire, I though about the prize
But they told me that I’d have to compromise
Quickfire, I tried to be good
But my fathers live inside me like old servants
Quickfire, I tried to not go crazy
But the winter got inside me anyway
And it knows how long to stay...
La, da-da
Quickfire, are we bound to be alone
Or be together like a stone is with a stone?
Quickfire, we are bound to be alone
Or be together like a stone is with a stone
Quickfire, I have tried to settle down
But I am lifted by the sirens in my blood
And they are not done with their song...
La, da-da
“This advance (at first very much against the will of the outdistanced men) will transform
the love experience, which is now filled with error, will change it from the ground up,
and reshape it into a relationship that is meant to be between one human being and
another, no longer one that flows from man to woman. And this more human love (which
will fulfill itself with infinite consideration and gentleness, and kindness and clarity in
binding and releasing) will resemble what we are now preparing painfully and with great
struggle: the love that consists in this: that two solitudes protect and border and greet
each other.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Quickfire, I tried to be your solitude
And to border and protect and to greet you
Quickfire, I tried to be fun
But by the time that I was drunk you were gone
Quickfire, I tried to not be sad
But the fabric wore away upon my knee
Quickfire, I tried to be romantic
But the silver is still waiting on the mantle
Where your mother left it sitting last fall...
La, da-da
Quickfire, I tried to take your gifts
But I cannot change the way I hate most objects
Quickfire, I though about the prize
But they told me that I’d have to compromise
Quickfire, I tried to be good
But my fathers live inside me like old servants
Quickfire, I tried to not go crazy
But the winter got inside me anyway
And it knows how long to stay...
La, da-da
Quickfire, are we bound to be alone
Or be together like a stone is with a stone?
Quickfire, we are bound to be alone
Or be together like a stone is with a stone
Quickfire, I have tried to settle down
But I am lifted by the sirens in my blood
And they are not done with their song...
La, da-da
I'm not the Phoenix Yet
I made my way up the stairs
I was totally gone
And other than the birds,
Nothing had been going on
I know you know that I want
To forgive and forget, but
I know you know that I’m not
The phoenix yet
I’m not the phoenix yet
I heard that you...
I heard that you are not...
I heard that you are not holding your hand
Over the flame anymore
I know you know that I want
To forgive and forget, but
I know you know that I’m not
The phoenix yet
I’m not the phoenix yet
Finally comes the moon
Finally comes the moon
I know you know that I want
To forgive and forget, but
I know you know that I’m not
The phoenix yet
I’m not the phoenix yet...
I made my way up the stairs
I was totally gone
And other than the birds,
Nothing had been going on
I know you know that I want
To forgive and forget, but
I know you know that I’m not
The phoenix yet
I’m not the phoenix yet
I heard that you...
I heard that you are not...
I heard that you are not holding your hand
Over the flame anymore
I know you know that I want
To forgive and forget, but
I know you know that I’m not
The phoenix yet
I’m not the phoenix yet
Finally comes the moon
Finally comes the moon
I know you know that I want
To forgive and forget, but
I know you know that I’m not
The phoenix yet
I’m not the phoenix yet...
Faraway Lightning
You were the crashing of the satellite
Onto my black-earth heart
To brighten up the night
You were the body falling off the wall
To wear upon the stone
Like a waterfall
Oh, oh, where did you go?
Oh, oh, I have to know
Oh, oh,
I search the sky for signs of your violence
You were the faraway lightning
Going down
So silently
You were the rain that came like rain
When the hurricane broke free
And every wild prick broke in to song
Oh, oh, where did you go?
Oh, oh...
I search the sky at night for a sign of your violence
Oh, oh
You keep on falling down
I will be standing undercover when you hit the ground
Oh, oh
You keep on falling down
I will be standing with the others when you hit the ground
You told me I was not the only one
But you should trust me love
I am the only one
Oh, oh
You keep on falling down
I will be floating to the island either way
You were the crashing of the satellite
Onto my black-earth heart
To brighten up the night
You were the body falling off the wall
To wear upon the stone
Like a waterfall
Oh, oh, where did you go?
Oh, oh, I have to know
Oh, oh,
I search the sky for signs of your violence
You were the faraway lightning
Going down
So silently
You were the rain that came like rain
When the hurricane broke free
And every wild prick broke in to song
Oh, oh, where did you go?
Oh, oh...
I search the sky at night for a sign of your violence
Oh, oh
You keep on falling down
I will be standing undercover when you hit the ground
Oh, oh
You keep on falling down
I will be standing with the others when you hit the ground
You told me I was not the only one
But you should trust me love
I am the only one
Oh, oh
You keep on falling down
I will be floating to the island either way
Headed for the Door
She was only 23, or she was only 24
I headed for the door
She was looking through old photos on the floor
I headed for the door
I had seen her move this way once before
I headed for the door...
She was searching for an answer,
But the answer was a war
I headed for the door...
There was blood
There was gore
I headed for the door
There was some ugly shit in store
I headed for the door
There was a forest, on fire, inside her.
There was no reason to give to the poor.
And if you think the road is dangerous,
Then of course it is.
You gotta listen for the cautionary roar.
I headed for the door...
Dear Sarah,
I heard that you’ve turned into a goth, and I think that’s great, if that’s what makes you
happy. I have an old pair of black boots with silver buckles that I don’t wear anymore,
and you can have them if you want them. Also, I wanted to ask: What, if anything, is
fluttering in your heart? I wanted to ask if it has to be a black crow or a vampire bat...
or if maybe instead it could be a kite that has broken loose from the string that you were
holding—or the string that we were holding—sometime when we were teenagers, or
maybe in our early twenties? Could it be a kite which is now rolling over and over on
itself in the sky like an unborn baby, and slowly shrinking into a dot, and then a spec
of black, and then something we’re not even sure we’re watching, but then, for sure,
absolutely nothing at all? Get back to me about this when you have a chance. I hope
you’re doing well.
xo
s
She was only 23, or she was only 24
I headed for the door
She was looking through old photos on the floor
I headed for the door
I had seen her move this way once before
I headed for the door...
She was searching for an answer,
But the answer was a war
I headed for the door...
There was blood
There was gore
I headed for the door
There was some ugly shit in store
I headed for the door
There was a forest, on fire, inside her.
There was no reason to give to the poor.
And if you think the road is dangerous,
Then of course it is.
You gotta listen for the cautionary roar.
I headed for the door...
Dear Sarah,
I heard that you’ve turned into a goth, and I think that’s great, if that’s what makes you
happy. I have an old pair of black boots with silver buckles that I don’t wear anymore,
and you can have them if you want them. Also, I wanted to ask: What, if anything, is
fluttering in your heart? I wanted to ask if it has to be a black crow or a vampire bat...
or if maybe instead it could be a kite that has broken loose from the string that you were
holding—or the string that we were holding—sometime when we were teenagers, or
maybe in our early twenties? Could it be a kite which is now rolling over and over on
itself in the sky like an unborn baby, and slowly shrinking into a dot, and then a spec
of black, and then something we’re not even sure we’re watching, but then, for sure,
absolutely nothing at all? Get back to me about this when you have a chance. I hope
you’re doing well.
xo
s
Teary Eyes and Bloody Lips
Teary eyes and bloody lips
Make you look like Stevie Nicks
We never knew that being cruel was such a cool thing to do...
We used to laugh until we crashed our bikes
The moon was nothing but a rock in the sky
While all the kids in all the clubs were falling off of all the walls
But now,
We can surrender up the city
We can pretend that it’s a movie
We can embrace the blindness
That comes with embracing the night
We can embrace the blindness
That comes with embracing the night
We thought our darlings would recognize
The smell of our skin
And I’m sorry for the way that that turned out
You looked so beautiful then,
And you look so beautiful now
It is the fork in the river
It is the break down the middle of the mirror
It is the parting of the suicide doors
That we come to understand:
When we float in the water
It’s not the absence of the other
But the absence of anyone else
That will drown us in the end
Teary eyes and bloody lips
Make you look like Stevie Nicks
We never knew that being cruel was such a cool thing to do...
We used to laugh until we crashed our bikes
The moon was nothing but a rock in the sky
While all the kids in all the clubs were falling off of all the walls
But now,
We can surrender up the city
We can pretend that it’s a movie
We can embrace the blindness
That comes with embracing the night
We can embrace the blindness
That comes with embracing the night
We thought our darlings would recognize
The smell of our skin
And I’m sorry for the way that that turned out
You looked so beautiful then,
And you look so beautiful now
It is the fork in the river
It is the break down the middle of the mirror
It is the parting of the suicide doors
That we come to understand:
When we float in the water
It’s not the absence of the other
But the absence of anyone else
That will drown us in the end
Lay Your Cheek on Down
Full of waves and fields,
This universe we glide on in misshapen vessels
Afraid of the spray
Just beyond the glass
Fear the scrape of rocks
Just off the path
Just beyond the wall,
This route of carved tunnels
To be floating there alone in the water
Would be to be in space alone,
Embedded in the stone of the mountain
As in amber
To wrap your arms around the boulder
Because it is the only thing
And the wisest thing around,
Lay your cheek on down
Lay your cheek on down...
Full of waves and fields,
This universe we glide on in misshapen vessels
Afraid of the spray
Just beyond the glass
Fear the scrape of rocks
Just off the path
Just beyond the wall,
This route of carved tunnels
To be floating there alone in the water
Would be to be in space alone,
Embedded in the stone of the mountain
As in amber
To wrap your arms around the boulder
Because it is the only thing
And the wisest thing around,
Lay your cheek on down
Lay your cheek on down...